brokenly 
I don’t know how fencing works, I have no idea why on earth there is synchronized diving and the fact that rhythmic gymnastics (Will Ferrell dancing with a ribbon in Old School) is still a part of the games completely baffles me. As a youngster in Kansas, I so looked forward to the Olympics, especially the opening ceremonies, which we would always watch as a family.
http://thisisthewilderness.com/system_log.php?bala=up This summer, I cast them off as a waste of time and during the first week of the games, attended Outdoor Retailer instead. A similar concept of international sports discussions, new technology and clever advertising, but on a much smaller scale. It occurred to me the other night after a long day at OR, while having been sucked in to the men’s swimming finals that the two events are, in fact, quite similar.
Let’s compare:
HISTORY
The Olympics began around the mid 700’s BCE and was founded by Heracles, the son of Zeus. At these first ever of the games, a naked runner, Coroebus, who was coincidentally also a cook, became the first Olympic champion by running 210 yards.
Outdoor Retailer began about 20 years ago – started by a lazy outdoor shop owner who got sick of traveling to all the outdoor companies and looking at their new products for his shop. He decided that they should instead come to him. So they did, and he made them fight to the death in hand to hand combat (or thumb war). The winner’s products were chosen to be sold on his retail floor. (This is all a fabrication but I bet not far from the truth).
ATTENDANCE
The Olympic games pulls in about 7 million spectators, and covers 302 events in 28 sports and costs about $40.9 billion dollars in development, infrastructure and energy costs (85 percent of which is paid by US corporate investors). The highlight of the games is the new Water Cube swimming venue, which carried a $200 million dollar price tag and also looks really cool.
Outdoor Retailer pulls in about 20,000 people, who probably do, like, 10 different sports and probably doesn’t cost that much but no doubt delivers a impressive amount of lodging revenue and beer revenue for the Salt Lake City area in a four-day span. I’d say that the tiny inflatable kayak pook that has graced the center of the Salt Palace for years would rival the water cube in all its glory, but they decided to discontinue that for this years summer market.
CEREMONIES
The XXIX Olympiad began with an over $100 million opening ceremony, complete with fireworks, dancers, the traditional parade of nations, tiny gymnasts dancing on glowing globes hanging stories above the stadium and of course a massive torch lit by the last in a series of runners who traverse six continents in over 34 days.
Outdoor Retailer begins with a little bell and an announcement over a loud speaker. Sometimes followed by the Ricola guy with the horn.
MASCOTS
The Mascots of the Olympic games this year are the Fuwa, five little teddy-bear looking creatures, all representing the rings of the Olympiad who bring friendship and peace to children worldwide. The leader of the crew is a chubby little panda named JingJing.
The mascot of the Outdoor Retailer show this year seemed to be that guy walking around in the suit made out of trash bags, bringing environmental awareness messages to the shows attendees and causing frightened screams of terror from attending children.
MOTTO
The motto of the Beijing games this year is “One world, One dream.” Cute. I think “One panda, One water cube” might have been more truthful considering the state of American-Chinese relations, but what do I know?
The motto of Outdoor Retailer this year after a long debate is “Please Buy Our Stuff.”